Okay - I went to Daytona for Bike Week. Yes I trailed it. No, you HD "hardasses" would not have ridden your chromed slugs from Detroit in the cold, as you would have never made it beyond the first tavern. Let me suggest all you rebels just sit home and watch that Stupid Sr. and Stupid Jr. show on your dum-dum box and wait for Spring.

What was good at Daytona Bike Week.
1) Valentino Rossi's M1 on display.

I am not worthy. It weighs 320 lbs. Yes, 320 lbs and makes 240HP. This is a man's bike. For all of you rebel accountants and posers that look down on Jap bikes, this is what a man with really big stones races. These bikes have so much power, they need traction control. These guys can wheelie faster than yours can go. The guy that rides this bike is a six time MotoGP Champion. He is the best of the best. He is so good, that he was able to jump from Honda to Yamaha and win the championship in one year. This would be like Michael Jordan going from the Chicago Bulls to the Lake Forest High School basketball team and winning the NBA championship in one year. Even MJ respects Rossi's skills. Don't believe me? See for yourself.
Air Jordan meets six time MotoGP Champion"The Doctor" Valentino Rossi. Valencia Spain 2004. Jordan is the sponsor of a motorcycle racing team in the U.S.  

2) The smell of orange blossoms and pine trees and burning sugar cane wafts along the back roads  we traveled through the yet unspoiled middle of Florida. We met the kind of people along the way that remind you what a great country we have here.
 
3) I stayed a night at a buddy's house,  I'd not seen him 5 years, but I've known him since kindergarten. He was sometimes an alcohol fueled hell raiser, and not in a good way. I wondered if he'd make it past 30, he did and has a great family and a life. whew.

4) Finally got a bike down to the Keys. Card Sound Road is the way to go. Good thinking Joe.

5) The burnout pit at the Iron Horse Saloon in Ormond Beach is where you can pull into a horse stall sized pen and drop the clutch on your bike at full throttle while the front tire is against an immovable object with predictable results. It reminds me of Shakespeare's Macbeth - "It is a taleTold by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing." This guy was pretty funny, this is a R6.



If I die, I want to be creamated and I want my buddy Joe to dump my ashes in a pile beneath the rear tire of my K1200GT or my GSXR-600 (whichever bike I don't get killed on) in the burnout pit at the Iron Horse, and with to the cheers of drunken onlookers, send me out in a flamin' smoky blob of Michelin Pilot or whatever.

6) I was informed that Barbecue is a food, not a way of making food. I enjoyed the Barbecue at Geogia Barbecue on 441 in Ft. Lauderdale within walking distance of the BMW motorcycle dealer. (by the way, it was scheduled service for my buddy's bike, performed by someone with training, most of his teeth, and no felony record)
 
7) Live music at the Broken Spoke and cold beer served by young women wearing an outfit of paint.


What was not good at Daytona Bike Weak. (not an error)
1) Volusia County Sheriffs who stand around and do not manage traffic on race day. Hope you bitches got some good overtime.

2) The dickheads from Ducati that would only let Ducati riders park in front of their lame-o "event" on Friday. As usual their temperamental twin got spanked by Duhamel's factory Honda on Saturday. Suggestion: Next year, have "losers only" parking.

3) The AMA killing the sport of American Motorcycle Roadracing. Why did the little guys have the Daytona 200. The big 1000cc superbikes had a 15 lap race at 11:00, then some stupid shit, then a 200 mile race of 600cc bikes. Why? the track sucks for bikes. The high power machines are so fast that the tires get too hot, then blow and the riders get hurt. Solution - have the race somewhere else!  Not enough fans? I guess it just works everywhere else in the world but not here right? Oh yeah - one beer truck for infield concessions, not enough seating, useless instructions how to get to the infield. I got the impression that the entire planning of the Daytona 200 by track management and the city was an afterthought. Two young women behind me in the long beer line said the same thing without solicitation "We couldn't get any information anywhere about the races or anything - and why don't they have a beer only line?" Even two blonds could figure it out. Question: How do you get 600,000 bikers in one place and only 10,000 in the stands at the "Big US Motorcycle Event"? Super marketing work AMA! Where do I send my membership fee? I hope you AMA folks get a good look at Laguna Seca. This is what the Daytona 200 could look like if you stop fucking around. Next year I'm going to find a pool bar with a TV in Orlando and watch it on Speed Channel if I watch it at all. Here is what the rest of the world has - note the number of spectators.



and now an actual picture during the Daytona 200!  Way to go AMA!!!

No DuoDuce, as long as you are not high jacking anything, the kill an Arab for Jesus ribbon is my feeble yet sarcastic way of demonstrating the hypocrisy of latching onto a theology, and interpreting it in a way that it can be a justification for acts that God would never approve of. Radical Muslims do not have a monopoly on this practice. Thanks for the feedback.

UPDATE 3/31 - DeoDuce - you didn't say you were "Mr Spork" ya big dummy!! One of my favorite pages "trophy corpse" ha ha ha ha !!!!!!!!!!!! 

Well you already know how I feel about those insipid magnetic ribbons used to display $4.00 worth of solidarity with our troops. I even saw an "Autism Awareness" ribbon for sale and I can tell you first hand , It ain't helping a bit. Here's a few ribbons I'd like to see.
 

 
And if you think I'm kidding here, I do support war profit, my SUV does need gas, and jerking off really needs more recognition.

....of a pudgy suburban white guy goes like this..... I get a call from a customer that pulled 80% of my business to hear him rant about this and that that I did wrong and tells me I should not be in business for myself becuase my company has a process to clean our office bathroom. I thinks, hey if you can't clean a bathroom, how do you run a fucking company? Everyone deserves a clean place to take a dump. You don't have to have a MBA to figure that out. Same person told me how he enjoyed walking past his girlfriends' grandmother so he could look at the new matress that he bought his girlfriend and give her a quick fuck. He is married and weighs 350 lbs. I have to meet with some guy that my partner says I should meet cause he is a "great salesman" but our new company (different than above) has yet to sell $1 of goods. There is a divorce and a sick parent and probation officers and enough drama to write a soap. Got some carryout and the guy there remembers my name and I havent been there in months. He has serious tech envy, commented this time on my phone. Lying public school bastards tried to tell my wife that my autistic daughter is ready for first grade. No fucking way. My wife wasn't bamboozeled either. I used to yearn for women, then for money, now I just want a good nights sleep.

Meet Faure Gnassingbe the new president of Togo.

The world is pissed off because he rewrote the Togo constitution in order to pry the job away from some other guy who obviously wasn't paying any attention. It is being called a military coup, yet no bloodshed. Nice work if you can get it. Nothing says LEADERSHIP like taking over a country without a shot fired, especially in Africa.

All of the world is pissed because this guy wasn't elected. Funny. I can't remember anyone complaining about Saddam dipshit handing out ballots with his name already checked off. If you did not show up to vote for dipshit, you were executed, hence 100% voter turnout.

Gnassingbe projects more style than Idi Amin, former Uganda strongman, and he is classy enough not to have a military uniform with hood ornements on it. He also reminds me of Yaphet Kotto.
 
 
Above Faure Gnassingbe - New Mac Daddy of Togo
 
Above - Idi Amin Dada Oumee - needs some corn silk.


Above - Yaphet Kotto - Great actor from one of my favorite TV shows Homicide.

Gnassingbe is no dummy, and was obviouslly groomed for the job as his old man who had been the leader of Togo since 1967.

To all you aspiring 3rd world dictators out there, here's how to stage a bloodless coup.

1. Right before the current dictator dies, get the military generals together and tell them they will get a week of pussy after you get in power but they need to help you out first.

2. Tell the top general he gets to drive the Mercedes at your parade.

3. Send the guy who is supposed to be the next leader on a roadtrip out of the country, like telling him to go to some other country like Benin and ask for debt relief, or to buy a couple drums of Kerosene to power the national telecommunications system.

4. As soon as the dolt leaves the country, shut down the roads, the airport, and unplug the phone. Then you can laugh so hard your sides hurt.

5. Keep the TV station running with a continuous broadcast of you standing infront of some Christian crosses wearing a really great suit and some 60' shades. Background track - the theme from "Shaft"

6. Enjoy you new gig as the President of your own 3rd world shithole !

Gnassingbe make it look so easy! Why else is he so cool....?

• He has really tasteful suits, retro shades and his own army. Even his army's uniforms look great. (queer eye for the dictator guy?)
• I suspect he speaks French. Very continental, even though it is a dead language.
• He makes Louis Farrakhan look like a doorman.
• Cool sash and white gloves, but he should ditch the jeep for a custom convertable 1972 Mercedes 600 SEL limo, or a 1960s Lincoln with suicide doors to complete the look. 

 
Here he's steping out in style again, and I was looking at the picture and Voila! a 1980s era Mercedes, note the MB cast alloy rims. This guy is a step ahead of me, now we know why he's the boss. Look at that suit! The tie! He's like an A-list movie star. Okay the people behind him are going to have a feast on a grain of rice and a dozen flies after the parade, but hey, you can't run around Togo looking like some UNICEF poster child. The umbrella is good too, cause this guy doesn't want to get a sunburn, but I'd recommend one of those girls who holds the umbrella at a motorcycle race.

 Much better.

It's the beginning of February I have already found the Liberal Pacifist Man of the Year. He is an exceptional pacifist from NYC. His name is Jeffery Sparks.

He was out clubbin with his fiance actress and playwright Nicole duFresene and another couple when approached by 5 gang members between 14 and 19 years old,  who robbed them and pistol whipped Jeffery Sparks. DuFresene was incensed about the attack and confronted the attacker Rudy Fleming (19) for pistol-whipping Sparks, telling him: "What are you going to do, shoot us?" Fleming shot duFresene in the chest with a .357 revolver at close range. The actress died in her fiances's arms.

Sparks,                                duFresene,                            Fleming

Spanks appeared the next day on a morning news show and said that he "hoped that Flemming would get some time in jail to get an education and think about what he had done."

"My main regret is that I didn't take her hand and pull her with me down the sidewalk" after being pistol-whipped, Sparks wept yesterday.

 I guess anyone could get beat down in the same situation after a few drinks, and maybe forget to protect his future wife or be a little dazed and confused, but to go on TV the next day to hope the killer gets a education? Let's set up a scholarship fund. Send a Killer to Harvard Fund. What is it with some people? Are they missing a vengeance gene? I see a parallel to the pacifist approach to the war in Iraq. Forgiveness taking the place of justice and vengeance. Sparks and deFresne were  little white lambs waiting to be slaughtered.

When will we recognize that the sociopathic and violent in our midst need to be punished, not educated?These mindless killing zombies are the product of the fatherless society, created and cultivated by liberalism with its misguided welfare programs, unionized public school bureaucracies, and revolving door youth penal systems. We have seen the enemy and it is us, when we fail to give the terrorists at home and away, the most harsh punishment as a consequence for killing innocent people. Hard labor in a work camp seems to come to mind, because a back is a terrible thing to waste. Our country is not so advanced that we cannot rebuild roads and bridges with human labor. A 2000 mile concrete wall is needed along our Mexican boarder, we could mix and pour it by hand. I digress - lets get back on track. 

Yesterday, another teen in Fleming's crew, a 15-year-old boy, was ordered held without bail in Family Court for his alleged role in a robbery that took place shortly before the duFresne slaying.

Detective George Taylor testified that the boy told him he targeted the earlier victim - 20-year-old Adam Chavez - because he wanted his white jacket.

The 15-year-old told cops that Fleming smashed Chavez in the head with the same gun he used later when he "shot a woman on Clinton St.," Taylor testified.

During an elaborate ceremony, friends bearing candles walked to the spot where she was killed. Once there, Sparks drew an outline of a body in blue chalk, laid rope and flowers inside, and lit them on fire.

Jeffrey Sparks, fiancé of Nicole duFresne, plays drum at candlelight procession to honor the slain actress.

It was a tribute the slain actress and playwright would have understood, he said.

As the memorial was going on, a teen in the Fleming gang, who was questioned by cops and not charged, stepped out of his apartment in the Baruch Houses and asked reporters if he could go to the tribute a few blocks away.

"You think I'd get in trouble?" asked Servano Simmon, 17. "Do you think they'd be mad if I went to the memorial service?"

He then changed his mind and went back inside.

It ain't easy making a buck these days. I work hard at it. I suspect harder than some, not as hard as many others. I sometimes envy beautiful women, you know the kind that get by on looks to the extent where a brain is really just a expendable bodypart like an appendix, removeable with no  adverse effect.



When I was in high school and college and my friends went off to spring break, I worked. I had a lot of jobs, I worked in a computer lab, I put human hearts on trays for med students to disect. I had a lot of jobs and they paid the rent. I never got a chance to go to Las Vegas as a student and get drunk whilst standing in a cloudy pool donning a hat with a brim but no top that might have "Scottsdale C.C." on it. It's okay though. I paid for school, and got a good job, and now I get excited about getting a great price on a new pair of slacks from Kohl's. 

I guess I missed out. I could have been posing with my mouth agape as if I was waiting for someone to come around and stick something in it. Is it just me or is this woman urinating? If so, no one seems to mind, and why should they? She has very stylish glasses and sparkly navel hardware. So there. One of the few good things about getting older is a declining need to stand out like an ass, even if your ass looks pretty good.

Is a broken man. Tormented by grief, and a misplaced anger for his own failure as a parent to dissuade his son from seeking profits in a war zone, he lashed our at the Bush Administration.

This is an extract from his message of support for the Stop The War Coalition's demonstration, End the Torture - Bring the Troops Home Now.

"My son, Nick, was my teacher and my hero. He was the kindest, gentlest man I know; no, the kindest, gentlest human being I have ever known. He quit the Boy Scouts of America because they wanted to teach him to fire a handgun. Nick, too, poured into me the strength I needed, and still need, to tell the world about him. Golly, too bad Nick quit the Boy Scouts before he earned his Evading Islamic Terrorists merit badge.

People ask me why I focus on putting the blame for my son's tragic and atrocious end on the Bush administration. They ask: "Don't you blame the five men who killed him?" I have answered that I blame them no more or less than the Bush administration, but I am wrong: I am sure, knowing my son, that somewhere during their association with him these men became aware of what an extraordinary man my son was. I take comfort that when they did the awful thing they did, they weren't quite as in to it as they might have been.I am sure that they came to admire him. Yes.  he was extraordinarily stupid man wandering around in a war zone occupied by throat slitting Jihadists. 

I am sure that the one who wielded the knife felt Nick's breath on his hand and knew that he had a real human being there. I am sure that the others looked into my son's eyes and got at least a glimmer of what the rest of the world sees. And I am sure that these murderers, for just a brief moment, did not like what they were doing." Hey Nick, after we cut your head off, whaddya say we go out and catch a movie or shoot a little pool and drink a few cold ones, first rounds on us buddy.

Mr Berg, your son had no business in Iraq. He did not speak the language. He had no security training or escort. He couldn't even make it in the Boy Scouts. I am an Eagle Scout and never remember being "forced to shoot a handgun". Truth be told, your son sounds like a slacker that couldn't follow through on things and wandered through life looking for a purpose. If anyone is at fault here, it is not George Bush, It is not Donald Rumsfeld, and it's not the Boy Scouts.

You are a big gas bag using your son's preventable death to jump into the spotlight and push a deluded political perspective. Your son's stupidity does not make you an authority on Middle East policy. I sleep better at night knowing that brave men and women (who are willing to shoot a gun) are willing to risk their lives to protect me. I am grateful that we have a realist President that gives my safety a higher priority than liberal acceptance.

When are you pacifists going to learn that there are bad people in this world that will slaughter little sheep like you and not give it a second thought? Don't believe me? here's the video (graphic violence)

 

 

There is something that has been bothering me for quite some time and I have been suppressing my cynical feelings about it. Well meaning people seeking a need to express themselves (as I can identify with, hence this blog) have engaged in an activity that has expanded to the extent that it mocks itself. Worst off, it compels me to think in a way that liberals do, that bothers me the most. Well, for what it's worth, here I go.

I have a problem with these magnetic ribbons that you stick on cars. It's like some rash spreading across our land on the asses of our SUVs. It started with yellow "support our troops" decal and I remember seeing them at the gas station and they were $2.50 and made in Korea. I thought it was strange but if that's what people want to do to say that they support our troops, fine.

Then there were other magnetic decals, pink for breast cancer. Good cause to bring attention to, okay. I don't know what a decal on the back of your car does for breast cancer but if you feel strongly about it -whatever. Then some camo ones, I don't remember what they said. As the demand for magnetic decals "that show you support something" increased, so did the price. Last night I saw some at a gas station $3.95. I don't want to see ribbons.

Where does this money go? I imagine there is a guy on a big boat, with a tan, Maybe he's an Iranian in Miami that used to drive a cab. Maybe he got an idea early on and cleaned up making decals for the back of your American-made 4 door sedan. He does not give a shit if every American in the Gulf gets blown up. He wants to screw as much tail as he can get his hands on in South Beach. He made his fortune on American sentimentalism expressed through the purchase of a magnetic decal that cost 13 cents to produce and retails for $3.79 at WalMart or Citgo and not a dime goes to any soldier, even if they come home without arm or leg. Is this what's happening? I sure hope not.  

It's still a free country and you have the right to buy anything you please, but I say screw ribbons. If you have $4.00 and you want to support a soldier, give a few bucks to the U.S.O or any of the numerous charities making life a little easier for our troops.

A woman died today in a mental institution in Central Wisconsin, She was born in 1918 with mental retardation.

The woman was not severely retarded, in her earlier years, she made diary entries describing trips to Europe and other experiences of a privileged upbringing. At the age of 23, her Father was concerned that her behavior as an adult would put her in situations where pregnancy, disease, and scandal would taint the reputation of the family. Her father decided that she would have a lobotomy. A lobotomy is a procedure where the frontal lobes of the brain are destroyed to make a person more passive, and less human.

With the possibility of disease/pregnancy eliminated, the father went on to raise his other children, who would uphold the high moral standards of the family and continue to surface on the American political landscape for the next 50 years like a case of recurrent genital herpes.

Yes, who else could it be but The Kennedys!

The non-retarded Kennedys upheld the family name by dumping their wives to screw the help, leaving a mistress in a car at the bottom of a river while they swim away to formulate a political damage control plan, and developing new ways to cover up for cousins who always seem to get wrongly accused for some teenage girl getting raped at the family compound or beaten to death with a golf club.

When they are not busy avoiding scandal, America's Royal Family keeps busy by skiing into trees, swimming for help, and flying airplanes into the ocean.

Until a 1960 presidential campaign forced the disclosure of the forgotten sister, It seems the family had little to do with Rose Kennedy. According to a family spokesperson, she recently attended some family events, and they were trying to get her more involved.

Perhaps her dad did the right thing.