This is a rare cut and paste from The Black Table written by Crystal Kash Ligori

I really have no idea what people in other countries eat during summertime. I am sure they have the basics like hamburgers, watermelon, chips (or crisps for our friends the Brits). However, never have I experienced such a food travesty as summertime salads. Or what we as Americans call salads.

I mean, who the fuck thinks a salad has Jell-O in it? Or marshmallows? Or mayonnaise for that matter? Aren't salads primarily greenery? Ya know, vegetables and stuff? And why can't we just have normal singular foods? Corn on the cob. Potatoes. Apples. But, oh no, we feel the need to mix potatoes with 3 pounds of mayonnaise and add a handful of seasoning and then call it good. Or mix an equally hideous combination of fruit, nuts and mayonnaise and call it something we think sounds fancy like "Waldorf Salad".

It's revolting. I could do without spending my entire summer going to people's houses and not only having to decide what sick-o salad my roommates and I will bring, but then going through the line of food and divvying out different shades of mayonnaise mush on my little paper plate....

However, after a moment of pause, I feel the need to perhaps amend my dislike of the summer salad. I think I actually hate summer for the overzealous use of mayonnaise. I hate mayonnaise anyway. It takes like nothing, it's made from eggs and Germans eat it on french fries. And don't try and sway me with some lecture on the deliciousness of Miracle Whip or another fake knock-off version of mayo. It's gross, I hate it and it makes every summer eating event a nightmare for me.

Crystal Kash Ligori actually just hates Germans, not summertime salads at all.